Updated: Raising Children… An existential Journey…

I suck at parenting even though I am an “enlightened” parent.

Raising children is an existential journey. One that’s not been adequately articulated and described for centuries if not millennia. There is no way to tell someone what parenting is going to be like. As diverse as creation, too are the plausible and possible experiences children will offer to you and you to them. Billions of combinations of potentials and our responses to them. My intention is to share some of my set of experiences as another drop in the ocean of what can be...

The most powerful intention I set for myself as a parent was to be a healed one. Having been abused as a child and having to deal with symptoms like CPTS, I prioritized inner work since before I was a parent. I was eager to study psychology beginning at 13 years old. I needed to understand why people, primarily my own Mother, treated children and each other, the way they did and how I might be able to help children that have gone through what we did growing up. This led to attaining a B.A. in Psychology with a concentration in child development and culminating in my postpartum healing and awakening experience in 2009.

  I began to actively and therapeutically heal before my baby’s arrival, but it was birthing that thrust me into a non-ordinary journey. A combination of a long-term shamanic initiation, a psychedelic awakening, and post-partum psychosis; including shell shock, panic attacks, and Oneness. You see, having a baby releases N,N-Dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, aka the “spirit molecule”. DMT has an “intense psychedelic effect and the way users describe as, ‘(initiating) mystical or spiritual experiences’”[1]. 

Most people don’t know that, and women are certainly not prepared for it in the U.S.

I wasn’t prepared at all. Very few speak to the truth of what’s possible when birthing and, for me, it was profoundly expansive and one of the most difficult journeys into the Shadow to date. I can share more about that rollercoaster another time, but what I want to speak to briefly is how my awakening has influenced my parenting, what I consider so important as a child spiritual advocate, and how I am still learning despite the progress.

First, the basic needs, of course, are assumed to be what healthy parents ought to provide. Nourishment, safety, hygiene, guidance, comfort, stimulation, but what about beyond the basics? How about leadership, joy, and care-giver sympathetic-attunement? Acts that are not done simply to and for a child, but embodied expressions that imprint and influence their expansive capacities. These, to me, require a higher level of investment in the embodying a sensitive instinct, essence, and psycho-spiritual growth.

What if you could be so attuned to your child you could communicate nonverbally? What if your child felt so protected by you that you wouldn’t have to struggle parenting them as much? What if you could be so spiritually developed you could parent without as much fear-based drama?

As I was venturing through the Hades and sewage of myself bringing radical self-acceptance and love to the dark corners, I was having experiences of Oneness and Quantum connectedness that I had a nearly impossible go at articulating to the experience to my husband at the time. As I stepped into the sacred position of Mother and cleared out my blocks and viscerally alchemizing cross-incarnational traumas, I was privileged to level up intuitively. I would know when my child was about to awaken because I could feel my babies return to their bodies within my body. And when they were toddlers, I could shift my energy and that would halt a tantrum in real-time! I coined this for myself as “Quantum Parenting” after completing my certification as a Matrix Energetics[2] practitioner.

About around that time, I also anchored in the value of instinct.  The one major quality is being their pack leader, addressing the animal in your child. Which is beyond teaching them leadership skills, it’s primal. Creating grounding is an essential first phase of parenting a baby. A new baby’s only job is to gradually train themselves into their bodies and creating a sense of security for them will support that process. I learned this late one night. My son wouldn’t stop crying of course. I even walked him outside and, yes, it would catch his attention for a moment, but not for long. It was only one night when I was so desperate I went outside without my shoes on. And when I walked in my yard, on the ground, he finally rested.

This got me curious and I came upon research regarding the science behind how humans have a bioelectrical reality to them and how “earthing” plays a part in that. It was powerful for me. Not only because I finally got some sleep and my child seem less “gassy”, but because I imagined what he must have been feeling. My energy must have been coursing through him as it wasn’t able to ground out from inside of my home. What’s more, if I was full of emotions and not expressing them his crying bouts would be endless. It was only being outside or crying myself that alleviated the need for him to have to do it for me. This played a part in creating safety and made it more comfortable for him to be grounded in his body.

They’re new here and safety is pivotal in the process of fully arriving and they know this. I said then that infants likely couldn’t speak by design because they’d likely reveal the secrets to Creation. Babies’ and young children’s instinct and conscious awareness is sophisticated despite the lack of belief by mainstream and/or “western” cultures. I encourage people to dive into prenatal and perinatal psychology for more on that.

I brought it all up to say, babies are aware and they know they are, in a sense, prey. It’s primordial. They know they are permeable or walking between worlds. They know their families’ souls, and they know they are vulnerable and extremely dependent. They’re attuned to and rely more on their family than most people pause to understand. So, they’re highly sensitive to whether they feel safe or not, especially on the physical level. Protection and being the protector is that important. Cultivating my instinctual self was imperative to ground that role in. One example of embracing more of my instinctual side was realizing that my son’s orientation was that of pack psychology. He was so primal in this way and required me to be even more protective.

When he was an infant, I first noticed this when he would wait to eat until we were all sitting and his parents took their first bite. Yes, it was in part feeling safer knowing it was safe to eat if the parents ate the food first. I also got the sense that he knew eating alone was not safe in general. It was logical that if he choked, he needed someone around.

However, there was a sense of reverence to his waiting that was magical. And there were other behaviours that clued me into how he might be oriented.  I, thus, was inspired to explored pack psychology and integrated leadership in “protecting the pups”. I noticed that wolf packs keep their pups in the middle of the pack. You will never see a pup obligated to greet a stranger. The leaders have several filters before even near access to their offspring. Not for humans though.

I remember how our parents would shove us in front of them to say hi to the “new, strange, giant man” and -- because he was our Mother’s uncle—we had to give him a hug. It could have been ok to some kids, but in my childhood, men were singularly unsafe, so I always had a near anxiety attack. I promised myself I would not do this to my offspring. I would demonstrate that I could lead them and protect them in “exercise, discipline and affection”[3] and in new environments. This protection created safety, which creates “trust, respect, and loyalty.”

So, in order to raise a balanced, trusting, well-rounded human, a parent’s first job is keeping the child safe from themselves, their environment, and other people. Once and as the basal aspects are addressed the other need levels of humanness are integrated.  As such I picked up another breadcrumb in my journey and was introduced to entanglement[4] and a whole other level of my instincts was integrated. So, there was the “pack-leader-parenting” and then there was the “Quantum Parenting” following close behind. [5]

I am proud to say that these first two major qualities and family values have made parenting so much easier. Here are a couple prime examples. Beyond just knowing when my child was ready to wake, I also spoke to him assuming he had an experienced soul. He was 18 months old and I explained the risks vehicles pose. His eyes grew as large as saucers! I could see and feel him taking the information in. Except for one time at three years old, we never had any problem with him running away from us, especially in traffic. I took the same approach with choking and never and concern henceforth.

When he was two years old, I had taken a Spiritual Parenting class to help me grasp my experience a bit better and they shared how to effectively support yourself through your child’s tantrum. They suggested connecting to your “unseen support” in the midst of overwhelm. One night and when I was 8 months big, my toddler had one of the biggest meltdowns of his little life. It was forty-five minutes in when I had the wherewithal to remember the advice from class. As soon as I closed my eyes with the intention of inner connection and halfway into a full deep breath, my son crawled into my lap and fell instantly asleep! I realized a few things then. Brining in my attention within, especially with the intention of helping myself, removed him from the role of playing things out for me.

Second, what you give your attention to in resistance makes more of that thing. So, when they were older and started to bicker with each other over toys, I closed my eyes, breathed, and imagined what I wanted to see them doing. I “saw “the same scene only they were giving each other toys and smiling and the sun beamed onto them from the window behind. And when I opened my eyes that was the EXACT scene!!

  This is all fantastic sounding, I know, but try it sometime. With children, your loved ones, your pet companions etc. They throw tantrums sometimes too, don’t they? Lol… This capacity, although for some sounds far-reaching, is very much within your grasp! With that said, we all still have our less “evolved” moments. I claim enlightenment certainly, but only because I have earned it and I know it’s never-ending. I have always only shot maintaining equilibrium for 60/40, sometimes 70/30 percent of the time. Moreover, don’t catch me being overwhelmed. I am from the U.S. and that’s all I gotta say about that.

So, having the ability to operate on these levels may be advanced to some, but I still have a lot of maturing to do. I basically started over when a new part of myself was ready to take a turn on the wild ride that is evolving. There was one time, for the first time, I raised my voice to my then 6-year-old son. That night he came to me in my dreams, wagged his finger at me and scolded me. He repeated, “WE ARE HOLY”. I woke up, not scared, but humbled. I asked his forgiveness that day. Even still, I find myself out of practice as the children age. I don’t feel as attuned to them as much as I did when we were all younger and I get down about that at times.

In the long run and in general, however, I can’t see myself ever forgetting how conscious, holy, and profound children are as I continue to be humbled by them and Life. But I can always look back and feel proud at that time when we created and established a multidimensional foundation for our children. From the primal and protective to the psycho-spiritual attunement, we are honored to have these values aid us in navigating through the messiness of parenthood.

  If you would like to know more about how to take advantage of parenting as another path to your “ascension” or psycho-spiritual maturation and new-ancient approaches to parenting, then reach out by leaving a comment here or messaging me privately. Either way, only the best and grace to you and yours as you evolve too.

Transpersonal Services

References:

[1] American Chemical Society (https://www.acs.org/molecule-of-the-week/archive/d/dimethyltryptamine.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com)

[2] Consciousness Technology based in Quantum Physics designed to facilitate non-ordinary transformation via subtle energy engagement

[3] See Cesar Milan’s, (The Dog Whisperer), work

[4] “Quantum Entanglement is the phenomenon wherein the quantum state of each particle in a group cannot be described independently of the state of the others, even when the particles are separated by a large distance.”- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_entanglement

[5] I have managed to discover my mysterious parenting experiences can be explained by this science