Paradoxical Living: Guilt-Free Holidays- Our Family’s Solution for Celebrating X-mas Consciously

There’s our Christmas tree! Isn’t it lovely? It’s only our first winter holiday as a family, despite having a five year old! Why? I wanted to wait. Wait until he started asking and until he was old enough to explore more complex concepts as he had no attachments then to actively experiencing any tradition.

At four, the questions about Christmas became more sophisticated and I was elated. Elated because I knew what to say. I knew that I wanted to be completely transparent with him about everything; including Christmas and especially about Santa. Santa and the rest were real growing up. Until they weren’t. It feels funny to say, but I was deeply disappointed about the fact it was all an orchestration. Santa, elves, the north pole, the tooth-fairy, etc. After healing the bitterness about being lied to, I found peace and appreciation for the intention of it all.

Yet, I remained unsettled about how to approach it in my own life and I fell into anxiety about it once I became a parent. I am sure you know what I am talking about. It is practically impossible to evade Christmas in this country and since I am not a person to avoid my issues, I asked for clarity. How can I be honest with my children and still maintain the magic of this holiday?

Then, I realized children lived in magic all of the time. I thought, “My son pretends and wants us to pretend all of the time!” My son delightfully plays along and believes whole-heartedly that we ARE superheros when we are playing superheroes, yet when someone says to him, “Oh, hello Superman!” (because he likes to wear the costume everywhere), he responds, “I am not superman. This is just a costume.”; I then add, “We are just pretending. Yay!”. My son smiles and moves on. How much pressure is relieved through Conscious Parenting is awesome.

My son thrives in this paradox. Pragmatic, direct, commonsensical and deliriously imaginative at the same time! Just wonderful. He has taught me so much about paradox in these kinds of moments. So, I knew that I could invite my son to pretend for Christmas too! We explained in our own way what Christmas/Jesus/Santa Claus is about for us.

That this holiday and time of year reminds people to be giving, peaceful and joyful. It especially allows some adults to give themselves permission to pretend again. So most parents in this country, and some in others, pretend to be Santa for their children and surprise them with gifts! Lots of people surprise others by giving somehow and it feels so good. “I want to pretend!!” he squealed. “Let’s do it Mommy! Let’s have Christmas! I can be Santa for my friends…”, he went on to detail what toys he was going to re-gift and that was the end of it! Or so, I thought.

 “I want to pretend!!”

We really had to go all out. He was so joyful about it. So, we had to work out the other aspects which would surely bring up discomfort. Like the tree! I love the real thing, but wanted to make a restorative choice. I did a little research and found a local company who delivers live trees, root-ball and all, and then picks them up after the season ends to plant them locally. Amazing! Right? We found decorations on Craigslist and we are doing our best to gift resourcefully.

Needless to say, the anxiety I felt five years ago is gone. Moreover, there is also a peace surrounding the fact that it’s not an obligation. It came about organically and with what feels like a more update and inclusive perspective. We made this holiday our own AND it feels good to know that it’s possible to move on from it too.

Next year, I hope to also explore other winter holidays. To expose our children to the delights of the season and demonstrate how so many people and traditions share in the idea of giving, peace and joy whilst having the freedom to create our own.

#Consciouslliving #holidays #motherhood #parenting